Happy belated Valentine’s Day readers!
Valentine’s day, a hallmark holiday, as many would say. A day that many dread, disparage or go all out for. The day seems to suggest that those of us who are single are lonely and to those of us in relationships, it’s the day of the year we’re supposed to show our love to our partner! So let me start with the obvious, being single doesn’t mean you’re lonely and it most definitely does not indicate a failure of any kind! There are many reasons for people to be single, and you should never feel bad because you are. It’s much better to be single than in a bad relationship. Relationships don’t define our lives, we do.
I’d also like to say that we shouldn’t just have one day to treasure our partners, they should, and we in turn should, feel each other’s love always. However, I don’t see anything wrong with celebrating the day if you want to. We can celebrate it with a partner, with friends or by ourselves because let’s face it, YOU should be a significant loving relationship in your own life.
Sitting on this train, writing this blog on the way to pick up my boyfriend from the airport (Yes, on Valentine’s and no, it wasn’t intentional!) I saw three teenage girls sitting across from me. One had a rose, one had a huge red gift bag complete with a poem written on its tag and the third, had nothing. I wondered how this third girl felt, and was reminded how Valentine’s day can often hurt in this way.
Comparing what we have to what others have is always a slippery slope because we get caught up in this idea that we’re not enough or that we’re being robbed of something. One day of the year and the amount of gifts we receive (on this day, or any other day) cannot determine our success in life. It’s this comparison that leads to an increasingly external view and can make us feel bitterly towards those we perceive to be doing ‘well’. Other people doing badly doesn’t mean we’re doing well and neither does other people doing well mean that we’re doing badly. The only standard we should hold ourselves up to is our own.
We all deserve good things in this life and we’re all capable of the changes that could improve our lives! So maybe Valentine’s is just another day to you, maybe it’s another sign that the holidays are consumerist and commercial or maybe you cover your house in roses and spend the day reciting poetry. The point is, you get to decide what the day means to you and how you decide to take in other people’s meaning of it.
If Conquering Life has taught me anything, and it has taught me a long list of things, is that we get to create meaning for things. We’re capable of changing our perspectives and moving forward from bad connotations. So I hope you know, that Valentine, no Valentine or perhaps multiple, you are a worthwhile person, capable of Conquering Life!