Parenting – am I doing it right?

Parenting: TO LOVE OR TO EDUCATE, THAT’S THE QUESTION.

Parenting is one of the hardest and most important jobs. Children, as we often hear, are the future. It is also one of the most controversial subjects to talk about. I can only apply my perspective as a full time nanny and a daughter. I take care of two beautiful little boys. They are wonderful and I love them to bits, and I frequently refer to them as “my boys,” which tends to confuse people.

My boys, are lovely and incredibly clever. They astound me with their ability to soak up everything like a sponge. I recognize sayings and behaviours in them that come straight from me. Things like saying ‘puddycat’, instead of cat, or “ahhh freedom,” when removing their jackets. Often they are things that make me smile or laugh. However, I saw in those small things, the potential to instill more than just cute phrases, there was also the potential to pass on negative beliefs. To quote Spiderman, “with great power, comes great responsibility.” As such a large influence on two children, two future adults, I have a responsibility to give the best example I can and teach them behaviours that will help them in their lives.

As adults we want children to be protected, kept innocent and full of belief. As caretakers we want them to believe the world consists of Santa Claus, rainbows and all things nice. We want to take their pain as our own and keep them safely in our arms. And of course, this is a perfectly natural and lovely sentiment. The trouble is when children grow up they have spent years installing all of the belief systems we have offered them. Our roles in their lives
can determine their Sense of power, create social anxieties and affect their self esteem. Children who always get their way when they cry learn that as a victim they get attention. Children who are nervously clucked over by parents, worried about them getting hurt, can develop serious anxieties. As parents (and nannies) we do our best, but often, we have our own negative beliefs and behaviours that get absorbed by our children. The best we can do for our children is to be the best we can be and also be aware of how our actions can affect their futures. Sometimes we need to fall and scrape our knees, if only to learn that we can survive a fall.

I try and give my boys the opportunity to prove themselves. When they make a mistake I explain to them why it was a mistake and how they can fix it. I want them to know their own strength and intelligence. Even though it’s hard to watch them fall, both literally and figuratively, I know that it’s better than never letting them try at all.

The Thrive Programme has helped me improve myself and by extension helped me become a better nanny! Sometimes we need a helping hand in finding our way back to ourselves and through our good example we can provide our children with positive belief systems, high self esteem and an internal locus of control!

For more information on the ‘Thrive Programme‘, please call me on: 07460802165

Or drop me an email: info@thriveprogrammeweybridge.co.uk