“The eyes are useless when the mind is blind.”

“The eyes are useless when the mind is blind.”

I’ve seen this quote shared on Facebook by multiple people this week. It’s an incredibly powerful statement once you grasp it’s meaning. In my own words, I take it to mean that if our perception is warped then what does it matter if our vision is clear. I remember seeing some reality programme years ago, it was a pretty terrible show and not very politically correct, called ‘Beauty and the Beast’. The premise was putting two people into a house, big brother style, one ‘attractive’ and the other suffering from a physical disfigurement. I can’t say I that I was paying all that much attention, it was on in the background, but there was one moment that caught my eye. ‘Beauty’ revealed that she hadn’t left home without makeup on, since she was very young. It was an intense moment to realize that someone who was so dependent on being perceived as beautiful, had such deep seeded insecurity in her own appearance. Her perception was so warped that she believed herself to be ugly. I remember thinking, “Thank god I don’t have that problem!” I couldn’t imagine needing to put on makeup everyday! Yet my perception was just as warped, I just hadn’t realized it yet.

Fast forward to this year. Looking through my Facebook photos I found pictures of myself where, although I look great, I distinctly remember feeling fat. I can taste those thoughts and feelings as they pour out of the eyes staring at me from the pictures, my eyes. Growing up I remember friends of my parents and family members telling me I was beautiful. I would smile and thank them, all the while not believing a word. I thought it was just something that people said. My teenage years were rough as I struggled with my weight. What’s interesting though, is that my mental image of how heavy I was is strikingly different to my actual appearance at that time.

Society commands us to be beautiful, but not to believe that we are. We’re taught that believing that we’re beautiful is shameful and disgusting, but so is being ugly. That’s the constant hypocrisy we live with and the only things gained from this are, shame, guilt and jealousy. We feel ashamed of how we look, whether we are considered to be beautiful or ugly. We are spoonfed these insecurities from birth and no one is immune.

I was hanging out with one of my best friends the other day, she’s a beautiful actress. I was amazed to hear about her insecurities in relation to a romantic situation. I was like “but you’re awesome and gorgeous, how could anyone not like you?!” I had assumed that because she was, to my eyes beautiful, that she didn’t deal with the same insecurities that I did. She responded “You’re beautiful too.” That’s when it dawned on me, no one escapes, our exteriors don’t change anything.

In the end, we don’t see people for their physicality, we see them shine through their fleshy veneers. By accepting ourselves and being open to appreciating our own beauty, because we are all beautiful in our own unique way, we can begin to see ourselves more clearly. We can love our flaws! Just like I’m starting to find love for my little double chin. We see what we look for, so let’s start looking for beauty instead of ugliness.

Feeling happy in myself has had an incredible response and I’ve been reminded that it’s not just about my exterior but about my energy and personality coming through. It feels great and I have to thank Edward for helping me to get myself to this point!

You can do it too. Let you beauty sparkle, your happiness glow and above all thrive in your life!