We can all get thrown sometimes, even people who are Conquering Life get thrown, because we’re human, not robots, and our emotions aren’t something we can simply ignore. What’s important is not that we’ve been thrown, even the steadiest foundation can feel an earthquake, it’s how we react.
We aren’t always prepared for what is going to affect us. It can be reminders of long past situations, other people’s reactions or even the news. It can be a smell, a touch or photograph. Sometimes our emotional beings just react and we have to find our balance.
Recently I’ve been supporting someone close to me through a difficult time. He’s been amazing, strong and brave throughout, even though it’s been hard. The situation he’s been dealing with is similar to one that I’ve been through myself and for the sake of his privacy I’ll just say that it relates to family issues. At first, I didn’t think that it was affecting me at all, I was just trying to be there for him. Even when he checked in with me, I was convinced I was fine. It started with anxiety, anxiety that I hadn’t tangoed with in a long time.
What was different now compared to before, was that instead of running from my anxiety or even just accepting my fate as an anxious person, I knew that this was just an emotional reaction to what was going on around me. You cannot control or choose your emotional reactions but you can choose how to process them. It was so comforting to know I had those tools, tools I learnt through Conquering life, to deal with what I was feeling. I was able to assess my emotions and why I was feeling them, then I was able to act accordingly. The first thing I did was reach out to people I trusted, I contacted close friends and my mother. I wrote to them saying I’m feeling anxious and afraid. Just that first step already helped so much because I wasn’t enclosing myself inside those emotions. It’s dangerous to become too insular and healthy communication is such a brilliant way to lift burdens and to process. I spoke to them, they acknowledged my emotions and I was able to let go, releasing those emotions into the air. It took some time and I had to be so present and aware of my thoughts, just like in the beginning of my Conquering Life journey, but, this time it came to me so swiftly. I put things into perspective. I knew that this wasn’t my situation and that it wasn’t happening to me, but also that my emotions were valid and deserved to be acknowledged. I had to be realistic and caring with myself and I didn’t allow my emotions to control me. Also, I didn’t shame myself for feeling them.
We’re all human beings and that means that we’re this strange combination of emotional and rational. So we can’t merely will away emotions, and, reversely we can’t let our emotions dictate our actions. Finding the balance between a healthy perspective, self awareness and acceptance of our emotions is key in leading a happy and balanced life! Today I really just want to thank Conquering Life for making that possible for me, giving me a way to handle those unexpected earthquakes.