How to conquer your happy!
How to conquer your happy!
Recently Facebook reminded me that I shared this quote some five years ago: “Unhappy people are all alike. Some wound they suffered long ago, some wish denied, some blow to pride, some kindling spark of love put out by scorn – or worse, indifference – clings to them, or they to it, and so they live each day within a shroud of yesterdays. The happy person does not look back. He doesn’t look ahead. He lives in the present.” It’s an excerpt out of ‘The Interpretation of Murder.’ The book is a Freudian murder mystery but the quote still strikes me as much as it did when I first read it. It’s striking because it’s so true. We all have moments of disappointment, hurt and heartbreak in the course of our lives and it’s how we choose to handle it that is important. A happy person isn’t someone who has never experienced hardship, a happy person is someone that despite their hardships has managed to live and love to the fullest.
We all have our burdens, all of us. We’re all together in that. Being happy isn’t about how much you have or what you haven’t had to experience, it’s about choosing to be happy. Letting go of the past doesn’t mean that you didn’t suffer, it just means that you aren’t letting it control your life.
I spent years listening to my father explain how badly treated he was during his childhood. Stories of harsh punishment, an evil stepmother and abandonment. Things that I wouldn’t wish for anyone, but he clung to these stories, they were his justification for all that went wrong in his life. While telling them he missed the way that he in turn was treating his children. I remember thinking quite early on that I never wanted to live in the past like he did and yet it is an easy trap to fall into. We get caught up in what could have been or what shouldn’t have happened. I don’t forget the things that happened, I learnt from them, but I forgave and let go. Because not forgiving only hurts me and this is my life and my happiness.
I’m not saying that some hardships are comparable to others, this can be a dark world, but they are relative to our own lives. The worst thing that has ever happened to me is still the worst thing that has ever happened to me even if the worst thing that has ever happened to you is worse. Spending our lives rehashing those scenarios in our minds won’t change anything and won’t give us peace. The world isn’t a fair place but that doesn’t mean that you can’t find happiness or joy within it. It’s about your attitude towards the things that happen. The good, the bad and everything in between. Studies have even shown that a positive attitude can augment the positive things coming your way, as I have mentioned in previous blogs. So take a step out into the world and conquer it! Let go of those thoughts and experiences that are dragging you down and make a choice to be happy. YOU have that power and it’s up to you what you do with it! I for one choose happiness.