Choose to believe in yourself
Choose to believe in yourself!
We are so often told to believe in ourselves and yet somehow we always end up believing in outside opinions. In seeking validation from others we will never truly be validated and yet this seems to be our society’s foundation for self esteem. Compliments are fleeting and although we may treasure them, if the person preserving them doesn’t have a stable sense of worth then they may as well be trying to catch smoke with their fingers. Self worth and esteem can only, as their names imply, be generated by oneself.
I have had a number of compliments in my time that have filled me with great joy in the moment and then perhaps a handful of times after that, in recollection. They always seemed to me, to be about another person or perhaps more accurately who I’d be without the self doubt. My perception of myself is singular and biased but it is the perception that I inhabit. In my mind that perception was my reality and what others saw was only some inadvertent falsehood. But what is the reality? Well reality doesn’t really exist. What’s true is that our singular reality is probably the farthest from the truth.
If we cannot acknowledge and believe in our own qualities how can we ever truly take a compliment? If you look in the mirror and see ugliness then it won’t matter how many people tell you you’re beautiful. We also have to be wary of molding ourselves in order to get specific validations. If we’re putting on an act in order to hear certain things about ourselves then inevitably we will feel like frauds. We need to stop looking and start being. Get to know yourself, love yourself and watch happiness become a state of being rather than an unattainable goal.
We are brought up to believe that happiness is the achievement of certain goals, milestones on the roadmap to societal perfection. We are taught to view our lives as something that can reach completion, like defeating the boss in a video game, or in layman’s terms the final obstacle. We can win if we follow these rules. So what does this mean for us? It means that we look to external factors to validate our lives. We look for the ideal relationship, the perfect family, the high powered job, so on and so forth. These are the things we gauge our success by. By doing this we externalize to such an extent that we can no longer validate ourselves, leaving us powerless in our own lives.
I am strong, intelligent, beautiful, loyal and caring. I need to know it, really know it, and not just that, I need to give myself permission to know it. Because if I allow myself to be the sole source of my validation then I won’t need external validation. Compliments can revert back to simply being nice things to hear, rather than having the power to make or break me.
The power is in our hands. We can choose to love ourselves. We all deserve to love ourselves. Learning to appreciate ourselves and acknowledging our own qualities and skills can only be positive! Thrive can provide you with the tools to build and maintain your own self esteem. The sky’s the limit when we put a torch to self doubt. Imagine what you could accomplish if you shed your own restrictive insecurities! Now stop imagining and start doing!
Take that first step now, call me for a free consultation: 07460802165
‘The Thrive Programme‘